Hopeless Romantic

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. -Charlotte Whitton

I am a hopeless romantic, I am not too proud to admit that! I think deep inside all women are but I think I am more prone to it for some reason. The thing that often gets in the way is I am fiercely independent. I don't like the feeling of depending on anyone, for money, food, or love in fact. I work in a male dominated career. I didn't choose the career for that reason but it just so happened I am good at what I do. I work in the liquidation trade and not just liquidations but electronics liquidations, which is mainly men. For every 20 men I talk to I may occasionally share a brief conversation with a woman. This works for me. Women are catty and prone to gossip, men say what they are feeling when they feel it. It makes life much easier. I sit on the computer all day finding deals, I buy, sell, and trade merchandise with men. I drive a forklift and work in a warehouse. I am the single employee here and that works for me. So, I say I am a hopeless romantic but not in the sense that I lay down and submit myself to the first man to make google eyes at me! Nope, actually just the opposite, I speak my mind and I can hold my own in a man's world.

From the time a little girl is born their expectations of romance are set into motion. We are primped and pampered. Everything pink and soft. This sets the expectation of being treated like a queen. Don't think so? Think about it. Our fathers have doted on us, our mothers doll us up, and grandparents tell us how beautiful we are. Why should our husbands and boyfriends be any different? We learn very quickly how to use our body to get what we want when we want it. We pout at Daddy to get that doll we so badly want. We flash our eyes up at Grandpa to get him to give us that dollar he's hiding in his wallet. Yep, from very early on, men fall to pieces when it comes to women and this fact does not escape us. I can sit back and almost imagine a cave woman pulling her husband aside, devouring him in a long passionate kiss, and at the same time taking the last piece of food for herself. I am not proud to admit this is the way we are but the fact remains we are. Women are cursed with an intelligence and passion that men will never figure out. We can love you passionately, we can tend to your every need, and walk away if we deem it necessary. This is the very heart of a woman.

Understand that I am not down talking my own gender. No I am mearly pointing out that we look at the world different. To us war means nothing but a senseless waste of life. To us guns hold no fascination beyond the fact that it could harm someone we love. We don't like the show COPS. I hate to break it to you, guys, but seeing 400 pound men with their shirts off spouting profanities isn't exactly our idea of fun! Car racing, football, fishing: hold nothing compared to a good long night with someone you love. We will endure these things for you. We will sit and patiently watch your shows, deal with your hideous friends, and even laugh at the same joke you have told 500 times because we love you. That is what we do. We sacrifice. We sacrifice our bodies to bear children, we sacrifice our education to tend to a home, we sacrifice our heart to be broken by a man. That is the logic of being female. Not only do we have to sacrifice but we suffer. Has any man experienced the "joy" of child birth? No, that is why it HAD to be a man that coined the phrase "The JOY of child birth." There is no joy involved. It hurts so bad that your body won't even allow you to remember it fully. Yes, you forget the pain. Just like an amputee forgets the pain of losing his appendage. It's what your body does when it is in shock. The sufferings of women is so foreign to men and yet they claim they understand. When has a man ever went through a period, PMS, or any of the other thousand and one things we have to go through to bring more men into the world? Wow I sound really catty today and I truly am not meaning to. This is the world to a woman but through the sacrifice and suffering comes something else truly magnificent. You love. You love without measure, without remorse, without conditions.

Women love differently than men. We love fully. Mind, body, and soul. We love in a way that allows us to innately know when our child is hurt or when our husbands need us. This is women's intuition. Sure as I am sitting here writing this it's true. We do have intuition men do not, nor will they ever, know. I recently read a great commentary on this subject and would like to share it with you.

Female Intuition
by Richard Cutler
Many people I know are concerned, alarmed or outraged as more and more
of their personal privacy is breached and entered on the great databases of
business and government. But as one who has spent the larger part of his
life in the company of females, I am here to tell you that electronic
snooping can't hold a candle to women's intuition.

And if my wife is any indication, it requires no Freedom of Information
Act. Whatever women suspect, believe or know for a fact is immediately made
clear to us -- except in cases where delaying its disclosure would give them
better leverage on a future major purchase or an evening on the town.
Intuition is defined as the ability to learn or perceive something
without the conscious use of reasoning. You can see how dangerous a faculty
this can be, especially in the wrong hands (which is where some might say it
already is). It means that women just KNOW things. They can feel it in their
bones and that's a pretty difficult thing to defense.
Women's intuition has been around for centuries, predating Political
Correctness and just honing itself and evolving to the point where researchers
have now taken note of it, given it the loftier-sounding title of Women's
Interpersonal Discernment and set about attributing it to the ladies' superior
skill in reading mood changes and interpreting body language.
We are introduced to it early on by our mothers who encourage us to
believe that they have eyes in the back of their heads and who can tell that
we haven't cleaned our rooms, washed our hands or eaten our vegetables without
even checking.
Later on, in adolescence, when we assure them that we have finished our
homework or that our underwear is clean and in good repair they knowingly
admonish us to check one more time before we leave the house. And they can
instinctively tell if we've tasted or inhaled some rite of passage contraband
despite the copious use of mouthwash or the chewing of highly-fragrant gum.

Adolescence is also when we really discover girls big time and first
encounter this phenomenon outside our circle of family members, schoolteachers
and the lady next door. But at this stage in its development intuition is
still embryonic and is easily jammed with a little finesse, sweet talk or out-
and-out, fingers-crossed-behind-the-back falsehoods.

It is after we are married that we experience it full force and no holds
barred. Trust me. I have been the designated defendant as a son and as a
husband. Husband is tougher.

It's all a matter of viewpoint. Mothers use intuition as a tool in
turning out independent, civilized adults with broad horizons. Wives see the
resulting males as selfish brutes forever seeking greener pastures -- and use
it as a weapon.

A wife's goal is to know everything there is to know about us. If they
think we are holding something back they will instantly resort to techniques
of interrogation and deprivation which even the IRS rejected as inhumane. As
a newlywed, for example, my bride once detected a faint and unfamiliar scent
on my person and alternately gave me the third degree and cold shoulder three
times before I could get the gift-wrapped bottle of perfume out of my pocket.

There were other small glitches in the beginning as well and I don't know
if the neighborhood wives held orientation or what, but my wife's intuitions
success rate improved quickly.
She is so good at it now that she finishes my sentences for me and tells
me what I feel like eating. (Yet she won't start a conversation until all the
commercials are over.)

Whatever. I, myself, don't have a clue except for the usual feeling of
foreboding whenever one of the kids has borrowed the car or I sense the
imminent visit of an in-law.

But being intuitively impaired isn't all that bad. I don't mind my life
being an open book as long as it is confined to family and a few close
friends. At least they aren't going to share it with some telemarketer. Or
question my tax returns.

Everything is in there! It also points out the fact that men just don't "Get It". They don't understand why a mother knows what her child is going to attempt 10 minutes before they attempt it. We carried them within our wombs for months...we know the beat of their heart as well as our own. They don't understand that when you share your bed with another human being you start to know that person on a level even they don't know about themselves. It's part of what makes us women. It takes more than breasts and pretty features to make us women. All men need to be is men. Rough and tough. They need to protect us and provide for us. That is what men are. We need to be the woman which involves so much more than what men understand about us. A great mentor of mine (male by the way) once told me "Women could stop wars if they would just put their minds to it." And I fully believe that. We may not be politically powerful, rule over vast amounts of land, or even (hate to say it women but it is true) be viewed equal to men but we have powers men couldn't even attempt to try! What would happen if all women EVERYWHERE stopped doing what they do until wars ended? No more warm cooked meals, no clean clothes, and no warm bodies in you beds. All would cease. The men would lose their minds. But it would have to be a uniformed front. Sister for sister, friend for friend. No first lady dutifully following her husband around, no Queen ruling a nation, no prostitute tarnishing her pride and no mother of 6 cleaning kitchens. All would cease! The men would lose their minds. Think about the devastating effects this would have! Wars would cease.
Now I know I have men out there rolling their eyes, huffing in irritation, and probably quite a few of them giving me rude hand gestures. Do not think I am a feminist. I am not. Like I said I am a hopeless romantic...not exactly a feminist quality. I wear dresses and have never burned a bra in my life (what a waste of money by the way) and I shave quite regularly. But I do think we posses powers that do not require muscle but heart. This power can not be finely exercised or worked to finely tune...nope it is born in us. It is the legacy our mothers leave us and we pass to our daughters. There is no secret meeting or initiation. There is no passing along of great wisdom, we just know!
The lioness will protect her cub if it kills her. Come between a woman and her child and you have better luck coming between a bear and his meal of surviving! This is a woman's instinct. It doesn't get much clearer than that! We will never cease to amaze you or irritate you. Let's face it guys where would you be without women?

Top 10 Things Wives Want From Their Husbands
From Sheri & Bob Stritof
In no particular order, here are ten things that many wives want from their husbands.
1) Telling Her Daily That She is Loved Everyone needs to be affirmed. Everyone needs to know they are loved. The best ways to say "I love you" are usually in simple, everyday, seemingly unimportant ways like an unexpected hug or holding hands when you walk together.
2) Understanding and Forgiveness There will be days when your wife will make mistakes or when she will be difficult to be around. No one is perfect. She both wants and deserves your willingness to understand and forgive her. Remember that no relationship can be sustained without forgiveness.
3) Conversation Don't let your conversations with your wife dwindle to nothing but talk about your kids, your jobs, and the weather. If that happens, your marriage relationship could be in real trouble.
4) Willingness to Make Time for Her and Your Children Having quality time with your wife and kids isn't something that just happens. You have to make it happen by not only making the plans but by following through. Time with those you love has to be a high priority for you.
5) Saying "Yes" More Than Saying "No" Habitual negative responses to your wife and kids can push them away from you. Think twice before saying "no" and you will be surprised at how saying "yes" can improve your relationships.
6) Listening Well It's really disheartening for a wife to share her thoughts and feelings with her mate and then realize that he didn't actually listen to her. Your wife wants and needs you to not only listen with your ears, but to listen with your heart.
7) Affection and Kindness How often do you say "please" or "thank you" or give your spouse an unexpected kiss? Unfortunately, some married couples forget that being kind and affectionate to one another are keys to a successful marriage.
8) Sharing Household and Child Rearing Responsibilities. One of the main reasons couples fight is conflict over who is doing what around the house. Chores and child care are not the sole responsibility of your wife. She shouldn't have to ask you to do your share around the house.
9) A Day Off Now and Then Give your wife a day off several times a month. This means that she will be free from worrying about what is happening with the kids, the house, the pets, and you. She not only deserves this break in her schedule, she needs it to be emotionally and physically healthy.
10) Commitment to Take Care of Yourself Both Physically and Emotionally Many men are notorious for not taking care of themselves when it comes to health issues. This isn't fair to your wife. She is your lover not your mother. Take responsibility for your own health concerns.

My perfect man (yes I am single and currently seeking but I don't know if he exists)

• A GREAT sense of humor. He has to be able to laugh at himself and take wise cracks as easily as the next.



• A plan. He has to have a plan of where he is going and where he wants to be.



• Motivation. Motivation to do something, anything really, but something.



• Artistic. Now I don't mean a Michelangelo here but just a creative nature. Even if it is making smiley faces on the bologna sandwiches.



• PATIENT. Be patient with me, I am independent and think I don't need you. I will come around.



• He has to love his mother, children, and animals. I want a man that is kind to all living things not just himself!



• Educated. No "for Dummies" book involved in this relationship!



• HONESTY. Don't lie to me. I am much better with the truth than you would think.



• Passionate. I want a guy that will be a slow lover when I need one and a brute in bed when I need one.



• Smart enough to figure out which one I need when!!



• THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE OF ALL!! Accept me for who I am and I will accept you for you!
  
• I LOVE accents too. Not sure which ones all of them I suppose. English, Scottish, and French are amoung my favorites.

I don't think I am asking too much. Rich would be nice but I guess you can't have your cake and eat it to (a saying I have never fully understood..what the hell else are you going to do with cake?). I am a hopeless romantic. I want the cowboy on the white horse to come and rescue me. I don't know what I need rescued from but I want it none the less. I want a guy with rugged features, a man that looks like he works for a living, no suit and tie guy for me! I want a handsome man with blue eyes to hold me close. But mostly I need a man that I am going to want to wake up next to for the rest of my life. The thought terrifies me, so there will be no rush into marriage for this woman. The thought of fifty years waking up next to the same man, you know everything about him, just does nothing for me! I guess for now I will have to stick to the romantic fantasies and realize that for some that is all they will be!